Inside: Find the real reasons why you’re feeling stressed and how to neutralise it if the overwhelm is building up in your life.
So, did I tell you about the time when I just realised that this whole personal development thing that I am so passionate about… I was doing it all wrong. Meaning?
It started with a book. It intrigued me. I never came across these ideas before. The fact that you can control your future by rewiring your brain to think thoughts that will benefit your growth which will result in you getting better results in your life and become all rich and successful?
Hang on.. what?
Sounds a bit woo-woo.
So I read and I read and it quickly became my passion. It felt so simple, and doable and almost effortless. The experts say that if you try too hard, you’re doing it all wrong. It should only come from a place of joy so you can attract more joy and more joy and soon your life will be full of… guess what?
Yea, more joy.
And so I read, and listen and watch their stories, and for years I believed that is possible for me to achieve that too. So I planned and set goals and rearranged my life to get to where I want but with one small problem.
It was just not happening.
Despite writing 367 times a day on a paper with my non dominant hand ” I am happy and abundant”, despite singing “Kumbaya my lord” around the campfire and despite the fact that looking at a fake 1 million dollar cheque that I wrote to myself for 3 consecutive hours during the day resulted just in an acute case of squinty eyes. (if you saw the movie The secret, you got the joke)
Yes, despite that too.
It appears that these experts somehow forgot to tell us about the making it happen element of this whole sham.
Everybody speaks about the results. I believe it’s a clear case of fake it till you eventually make it and then you won’t have to fake it so hard anymore.
I see: “Look at my 6 figure business which I created from scratch in my free time while I was breastfeeding 4 kids and homeschooling my other 9.”
“And all I had to do what to decoupage from some magazines and stick it on my fridge and imagine I already have it.”
Nobody tells you how they actually did it.
So if you are an ambitious person like me and a high achiever you can’t stop but feeling duped.
And sure enough, slowly the fear of “Can I actually afford to dream big without fooling myself ” creeps in and with it, it brings a shitload of overwhelm.
So what I was left is with the naive belief that I could do it too.
So I waited, and I wished, and I made my vision board and visualised it and I allowed that positive vibe to flow through me whilst hoping that this shit will take over.
But here’s the mistake.
Just doing these things won’t move you an inch closer to your dream.
The element of action is almost completely missing from the success stories and the whole process is far from effortless or a simple side hustle in your free time.
It takes work and dedication and a lot of action. It takes endless hours and an unlimited supply of passion topped up with a dollop of positive mindset that you will eventually succeed, which is the key element that would keep you going. And when all you do is fail and produce crappy ideas that lead nowhere, you suddenly dream about trading this anxiety generator dream for stashing shelves in a supermarket and call it a day, be happy and grateful for your life rather than having to carry this burden that makes your life appear so incomplete and meaningless without it.
Boo to that!
So when you are in these situations remember this:
Action over wishes.
Freaking out of the overwhelm
Talking about the overwhelm alone brings a feeling of anxiety and discouraged that you didn’t achieve what you want in the time that you restrained yourself with. It is sad if you are a high achiever to let go the control and to bring back your attention within to put all the plans that you had for work, all those projects on the backlog and take a more realistic approach.
Many times we give ourselves deadlines that are unrealistic to achieve. We create situations that are challenging and that the results don’t always depend on ourselves alone. We forget to take into consideration factors that can happen and we don’t give the permission to be humans, to feel exhausted to take a break instead of just constantly be in a go-go mode.
We need to train our brain to give ourselves options and reprogram it to adjust and to find solutions rather than being stuck in the overwhelming.
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Indulging in feeling sorry, blaming others for our situation, blaming the circumstances and the global warming repels the options available to us. It repels the opportunities that are shadowed by too much self-pity.
Stopping the overwhelm is a major factor on how fast you’ll bounce back from a poopy situation. So decide today to:
1. Not to indulge into self-pity.
Overwhelm is a negative emotion, it brings anxiety. When things happen unexpectedly choose not to stay stuck into “I don’t know what I’ll do situations”.
Make decisions, don’t keep doubting yourself and question every decision that you took which led you to this situation as the worry creeps back—and builds until you regain control. The overwhelm is not caused by circumstances but about how you perceive the situation, how you allow your mind to think.
2. Reduce your options.
Yes, I said it. You need to limit your options or you’ll never take any action. You’ll constantly be in the limbo, worried and freak out.
3. Make your decision and don’t question it ever again.
It is time to take action. You need to be confident in your decision and don’t try to second guess it along the way. A plan of action is necessary, honour that decision keep yourself accountable for it. Follow it through.
4. Take it one step at a time.
Imagine you would give an impartial advice to one of your good friends. When you’re not emotionally involved in the situation you can see things for what they are rather than catastrophising it unconsciously and letting your emotions decide your future actions. Think about how you can deal in the fastest and most efficient way with the situation. Separate the facts from the emotions.
5. Write it down.
Best not to indulge into resentment and wishing it would be different. Choose thoughts that are supportive and that will get you through the current difficulties.
When things so south try to see the silver lining. Sometimes is difficult to find any, I know, but your brain isn’t aware of your situations. You react the way you do not because of the circumstances but because of the way your brain is wired based on your previous experiences. Choose to create connection and convert this into something that is beneficial for you.
I’ll finish off with one of my old time’s favourite quote.
“The Subconscious mind can not tell the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined.”
Think about it. You create your own reality, your stress it caused by our own expectations. Use the above steps to rethink the way you react to life and to things that happen and have no control over.
Until next time,